


static

by orphan_account



Category: Oxenfree
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, Hey guess what, Pseudo-Incest, Rape/Non-con - Freeform, alex and possessed jonas fuck and its not great, turned into
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-08-28 20:02:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8461117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: 4 the gf bc we both thirsty asses 4 possessed jonas :/





	1. opportunity

How many times has she been here? She can't even count it on both hands. It's insufferable. It feels like her brains constantly in a haze, like she's trapped in a fog, and it'll never lift. Wanderless aiming through the different loops, trying, trying, trying, all with the same outcome: failure.

  
  
"Ahh, now, we're _sure_ you remember this part." It's definitely Jonas's voice, but the way he speaks, the way he talks, it isn't him. The bright florescent red of his eyes key her off to what's happening immediately.

 

  
She does remember it, she remembers it happening so many times. Yet she's still here. Nothings changed, nothing probably will change.

  
  
"Alex, dear, we do so love our little chats with you, but you're not being very responsive this time. Is something bothering you?" His voice mocks concern. It's the sunken, toying with her. They're right. She's just staring, her eyes blank, her mouth screwed into a straight line. She doesn't want to be here. She doesn't want them using Jonas's body like it's their personal plaything. It irks her. She remains silent.

  
  
"Hmmm?" It comes out like a playful purr, and the way it makes her body react makes her angry at herself. Shivers run through her, violently, like her body has a mind of its own at this point. They notice, and they chuckle, it's **his** laugh though, it's his voice, it's his everything. "It feels good to break script here, we admit." She wants this to end.

  
  
"Anyway, as usual, we have a deal for you... but, we already know your answer." Jonas steps forward slowly, inching closer and closer to her. She can't move. It feels like her brains fried. "So, we thought of something else, a little game. We're rather bored of the usual games."

  
  
She feels the air leave her lungs, somethings wrong. Something's definitely wrong. This is off, this is so off. They've never done this before, for once she's clueless about how to act.

  
  
"Still silent? That's fine, _darling_." She jolts at the term, eyes widening, her body finally comes back to life and she stumbles back. She's mortified, Jonas would never say that, the sunken would never say that, why are they doing this now.

  
  
"What are you doing?" She wants to sound furious, she wants them to know she's not in the mood for this, but instead her voice is shallow, like she hasn't had a drink in ages. She hates how weak it sounds.

  
  
She's met with another taunting laugh, "like we said, it's just a game," Jonas's body is still advancing towards her, and if it wasn't for the red eyes boring through her entire body, she'd be filled with nervous butterflies. Instead she feels like all her nerves are ice, and that if she doesn't do something soon, she could die. Her hip bumps into the table, and it stings, she lets out a hiss and tries to step off to the side, but he's there, and he grabs her by the arm.

  
  
It's not as harsh as she would expect them to grab her, its gentle, a thumb rubs reassuring circles, it's almost like...It's Jonas, Jonas grabbing her, Jonas moving in on her. But it's not.

  
  
She jerks hard, trying to pull her arm out of their grasp, but they're resolute, keeping her firmly in place.

  
  
"We know you like him." Jonas's voice has an unusual bite to it, and she stops struggling. "We've watched the two of you. Quite the lovebirds, well, before you come back here." She feels nauseous, like at any moment she's gonna vomit. The thought of them watching, probably laughing at her, they've been laughing all along. But now they have something they can use against her.

  
  
"It must be so tough for you, knowing he doesn't remember," Why is it his voice, why, it's driving her mad. His voice, gentle, soothing, like it's Jonas himself trying to calm her down, but it's not. It's **not** Jonas. She has to keep screaming that in her mind. "But you do, you remember. We know, we've seen the way you've been staring at him all night." She scrunches her eyes shut, fed up with this, hoping if she just closes her eyes, it'll stop, like it'll all disappear, and she'll be back with Jonas-Jonas. The dorky, awkward, not possessed Jonas. "You've been wanting to reach out to him, hold his hand, lean on him for comfort, or maybe for familiarity? Tired of having everything be reset?"

  
  
She's not opening her eyes yet, she refuses. If she just doesn't respond, they'll get bored.

  
  
"Here's our idea," She can feel them move close to her own face, Jonas's warm skin brushing against her own, she can feel his lips on her ear. An exhale, a warm breath caressing her, causing her to quiver in their grasp. "Now, listen carefully, we're only going to say this once." It's a whisper, and Jonas's body is still so unbearably close to hers, she wants to disappear. Curl into a ball, and hope everything fades to black finally. But it doesn't.

  
  
"You want me, right?" No, not you, **him** , she wants **him**. But the way they worded it, it sounds like Jonas, it sounds like Jonas saying it. It's fucking with her so bad. "Alex, I love you."

  
  
She feels like she's about to cry, that's going to far. Her eyes open with caution, and Jonas's face is right in front of hers. The red's still there, it's still them. "Don't." She says with as much conviction and aggression she can muster. "Don't you _dare_ do this."

  
  
"Come on now, dear, this will be fun. It'll make all of us happy." Such a snide tone, her face is twisted into a grimace. She feels stomach acid creeping up her throat, burning, itching, the urge to expel it all. But her mouth is twisted shut. "You want this, you do, otherwise you would've pushed us away already."

  
  
Does she want this? Not with them. No, but with Jonas. Does she **really** want this with Jonas? Will she ever be able to have this moment of intimacy with Jonas when they get out of here? It's always ripped away from her, always. As soon as they get close, as soon as **her** Jonas's lips touch hers, it's reset. As soon as **her** Jonas wraps an arm around her, and stares into her eyes with a look of pure admiration and adoration, it's reset.

  
  
"We'll make it enjoyable for you, we promise. We'll even pretend to be him. Just for you, child. Let's...have fun."

  
  
Her conscious is screaming at her. Don't. No. Not like this. But her heart aches, so bad, it's like someone's reaching in with their hand, grasping it so tight, twisting and tugging. Wringing it like a rag. She lets out a sob.

  
  
"If you just pretend like it's a little play, it's easier to give in." They've said that before, it echoes in her brain.

  
  
They pull her close, hugging her. It smells like him. Strong nicotine mixed with sweat from tonight's activities. He's so warm. It's like when he first hugged her so many times ago. She's shaking with anxiety, trying to stop herself from breaking down into tears. She buries herself into the crook of his neck, his jacket scratching at her face, but she doesn't mind, anything to avoid the red aura. If she closes her eyes, she can pretend. It's fine. It's fine. It's not fine. It's the farthest from fine, but she feels like she's in too deep now, and she's drowning against Jonas's body.

  
  
Her hands grip his jacket tight, tugging at it harshly. "Whoa, whoa, a little eager there, don't you think?" It's Jonas's playful voice. Like when he chided her earlier in the night for getting excited about stupid scavenger hunts.

  
  
"Alex, it's okay, relax. It's just me." It isn't though. But it's his voice. It's his body. If you pretend... It's easier to give in.

  
  
The urge to vomit remains. She's just standing there, in his arms, shuddering, choking back sobs. His hands find her shoulders, and he raises her up like she's a delicate doll that'll shatter any second. Her eyes close instinctively, she doesn't want to see. If she sees it, the sick little illusion she's created will crumble before her.

  
  
She feels a hand move her bangs, and his lips graze her forehead. It's chaste. Sweet, something Jonas would definitely do. Her heart flutters against her consciousness' wishes. The soft, almost shy kisses continue. Her forehead, her eyelids, her nose, each cheek, her chin, and finally they meet her lips. It's just like the first kiss she had with **her** Jonas. That feels like forever ago, it's hard to remember it clearly. But this, this is vivid. His lips are chapped, and his breath is leaking through his lips, it reeks just like cigarettes, but she's grown to love the smell, it's **his** smell. Her brows furrow, and her mind is racing a thousand miles a second, she lets out a shaky exhale, and finally leans forward, her own lips returning the sign of affection.

  
  
Jonas lets out a laugh. "Thought you were gonna freak out, y'know.. I'm- I'm glad we're here like this, Alex. Just us." She can picture it in her head clearly, Jonas smiling nervously, his dark brown eyes avoiding her own. Tears manage to bubble up past her lids, and he kisses them away. "It's okay, I'm here. I got your back, no matter what."

  
  
"Can I, uh, Can I-- can I kiss you more?" He asks, stuttering with nervousness that she feels herself. She doesn't want to speak. So she just nods yes. She parts her lips and waits, and he captures her in an intense kiss. His face pressing against hers with sudden excitement, he nibbles her lips, and she lets out a gasp, and his tongue slides in. She can see it, see him, suddenly running on hormones and want and need, and it's helping her relax more, get into it. It's **her** Jonas, and nothing's been reset. They're just picking up where they left off.

  
  
Their teeth click together a couple of times, inexperienced. They're both inexperienced. That's it. It's so **real**. She wants to know if his eyes are open, but she can't. She can't look. He licks the roof of her mouth, and it tickles in just the right way, she lets out a weak moan into his mouth, and it vibrates through them both. He licks it again for good measure, then goes to twist and suck on her tongue, her heart feels like its soaring right now. It's everything she could've dreamed of. Her hands fumble past his jacket, and onto the fabric of his shirt, rubbing up and down.

  
  
He pulls away, but keeps placing eager kisses on her mouth, around it, down to her neck, and he bites it, hard. She whimpers and squeezes at him. "Sh-Shit, Alex. Can, Can I touch you?" She couldn't nod fast enough, her pony tail shaking with the force of her nod. He lets out that cute laughter of his again, and goes back to sucking on her neck.

  
His hands snake down, quick to action, not even bothering with playing around, they go straight underneath the fabric of her shirt and hoodie, and up to her bra. His fingers tease past it, and start rubbing her breasts. The movements awkward, and she's mimicking his movements. Her fingers rake across his nipples and he lets out a hiss, and it sounds delicious, she's always wanted to hear noises like that from him. So she does it again, gently, twisting, rubbing. He's breathing heavily, doing his best to reciprocate the actions back to her. A rough tug against her nipples causing her to let out a sharp gasp, and she leans onto him for support.

  
  
"Fuck yes." His voice is shaky with his own desires. He slides a leg between hers and pushes up against her with his thigh, the friction of his clothed erection against her, and the feel of his thigh rubbing against her cunt causes her brain to short-circuit temporarily. They're both breathing heavily, she tries to stifle a moan, but startles at the feel of him, he's, he's actually big. Oh god. She wants to see it so bad. They keep moving, shifting against each other. Alex feels like her body's on fire, she's burning up, everything is too hot.

  
  
"I wanna feel you, Jonas, I-," Her voice breaks weakly, "Undress, lose clothes, p-please. Something, god." It's a jumble of words that just pours out her mouth, she can't stop it anymore. She's lost in the moment, lost in the game.

  
  
Jonas groans, "Yeah, y-yeah, sure." They detach their hands from each other, but continue to grind against one another, eager for it to continue. They both remove their jackets, and shirts. Alex unclips her bra, and the moment the cold air hits her nipples she's has to stifle a tiny squeak. Her vision is blotting from keeping her eyes closed for so long, but she can see the scene perfectly. It's her and him, together, sneaked out late at night, fooling around. It's everything she wants.

  
  
"Alex, I wanna hear you, please, babe." She can feel herself tighten, she was wet before, but the pet name, and his pleas, just absolutely set her arousal in stone. There was no more guilt or remorse about this. She wanted this. She wanted Jonas to fuck her, and she wanted him to hear her.

  
  
"Pants." Her voice is strained, and Jonas immediately picks up on what she wants. He starts unbuckling his belt, pulls away from her long enough to slide down his pants and boxers just enough that he's exposed. He grabs her hips a little extra force, and leads her to lay down on top of his clothes, keeping her from laying against the cold ground. She laughs. A genuine laugh for the first time in god knows how long, even in a situation like this, he was trying to be considerate of her. "Can- Can I take yours off?"

  
  
"Do you even have to ask?" She responds with a smirk, her giddiness betraying her voice, her attempt to be suave mucked with nervous little exhales. He laughs, and starts sliding her pants off her legs, she lifts up enough that they slide off her ass, and she helps him the rest of the way by wiggling her legs, helping him shimmy the pants off. The cold air pricks her skin more, but she still feels like everything's super hot. He moves up closer, throwing each of her legs around him, she wraps them around his waist, and she can feel his erection through the thin cloth of her soaked panties against her. It's throbbing, and it feels even warmer than she does.

  
  
"It's okay right?" He mutters. "If I, uh, you know." A nervous chuckle. "Sorry I, uh," He interrupts his own rambling with a moan when she grounds herself against him hard. "O-Okay then, I'll take that as a definitely." They both laugh.

  
  
He cant stop shallowly thrusting against her, his thumb rubs her clit through the fabric, and she makes sure she moans loud this time, makes sure he can hear it, makes sure he knows how good he's making her feel. "Jeez, you're fucking soaked, babe." His voice is so **so** deep and husky, she didn't know it could sound like that. She hums in response, desperately rubbing against him.

  
  
He doesn't know how much longer he'll last like this, impatience getting the best of him. He tugs the flimsy fabric off to the side, and lets out a long exhale when his cock makes contact with her entrance. She jolts, but remains in place, waiting for him to enter, to move, to do something, **fuck** she was ready.

  
  
He teases her, by running his cock up and down her slit for a few seconds before finally pushing in, gentle, and slow. Alex tenses up, and her voice cracks as she starts letting out unintelligible sounds.

  
  
"Oh fuck," He almost shouts, she's clenching around him so hard, he's slowly easing his way in, until he's hilt deep. He waits for her to adjust, trying his hardest not to hurt her. She's whimpering and murmuring still, grinding herself down. "Alex, oh, god, Alex, you look so beautiful right now." She can't even form a reply, just more needy noises and harsh breathing.

  
  
He starts moving finally, quick shallow thrusts, and it feels so nice, so close, so intimate. He keeps chanting her name like it's a mantra, and it's only egging her on more. She starts to meet his thrusts with enthusiasm, clumsy, but it still helps.

  
He keeps chanting her name, and his voice is so clear and it's just **him** , and she thinks that she might finally be in heaven.

  
  
But it's not.

  
  
The thrusts are getting rougher on his end, and it catches her a bit off guard. He's gripping her thighs way too harshly, it's painful, his dull nails biting at her sensitive skin. She lets out a confused grumble. He stops chanting her name. "Jonas?" She calls out weakly, still trying to match his thrusts, something is creeping up her spine. An unsettling feeling curling at the pit of her stomach, the familiar sense of fear and disgust.

  
" _Alex_." It's his voice, but it's not him.

  
  
She can finally hear the voice in her head screaming at her again.

  
  
" _Dear_ , look at us while we fuck you, that's just common decency don't you think?" His voice sounds strangely calm and restrained, despite the occasional grunts of pleasure still emitting from him. A hand snakes up to her breast, and he squeezes it with such pressure, she's almost positive it'll bruise, and she howls. "Don't be rude."

  
  
She can feel the tears come back, she's shaking her head, hands coming up to cover up her already closed eyes. "N-No." She can't hide the fact that she's crying, her voice is crackling and she sounds snotty. She wants this to stop now, she tries to ease away, but he's firmly holding her in place. She keeps muttering no, over and over, trying to drown out his voice. It's not his anymore. She doesn't want to hear it, she doesn't want to be doing this, she wants to snap out of this loop.

  
  
He leans over her more, restraining her with his body weight, and uses his hands to pry her own away from her face. "I said," He pulls out, and slams back in full force, causing her to scream. "Look at us, while we fuck you, _dear_." His voice is laced with such venom and sarcasm she chokes out a sob, and has to stop herself from full on wailing. He lets out a disapproving huff, using one hand to hold both of hers together, and his other hand starts caressing her face. It's mocking her, it's almost like a loving, concerned touch, but it's anything but that. The hand on her face creeps up slowly, until its practically digging into the skin around her eyes. It forces open the one eyelid. All she can see is red.

  
  
The play is over.

  
  
Her other eye opens out of shock, and he lets out a chuckle that she can only describe as creepy. His hand goes back to caressing her face. "That's much better." Her eyes are wide, and tears are streaming down her cheeks. The red is overwhelming, she feels like it's piercing through her heart. He wont stop fucking her either, it's making her sick to her stomach. The worst thing is she's still not completely turned off, there's some part of her that's **enjoying** this. She really thinks she might've finally lost it. This is it. She belongs in this hell. She deserves it.

  
  
Her moans are coming out garbled, and she thinks she hears static. Everything's turning fuzzy. But the red gaze is making her stay grounded, making her stay awake for this. "Honestly dear, did you think we'd just play along? That's not a very fun game for us," Jonas's hand-- no, not anymore, their hand travels down to Alex's clit, and starts rubbing it in achingly slow circles, her hips buck against the hand, and she hates herself even more for it. "But this? This is fun." Just to emphasize that fact they let out another laugh, but it still sounds like Jonas, and it causes her to choke back her tears. "You're very entertaining... Letting us do this," She wishes they would just shut the fuck up, stop speaking with his voice, stop using his body, stop fucking her, but she can feel her orgasm coming despite all this. She wishes she was dead. She wishes a lot of things. "We have to say we've enjoyed our time together, and I'm sure Jonas is going to **love** this." Her heart seizes in her chest at that.

  
  
"What?" it doesn't even sound like her own voice when she says it.

  
  
Their hand presses harder against her clit, and they pick up the pace. Groaning with his voice, touching her with his body. "You should've remembered _darling_ , Jonas _always_ remembers this part of the game. At least somewhat." Another hoarse moan escapes their lips, and Alex feels like she could die on the spot. They cackle, and for some reason, it fits well coming out of Jonas, his voice makes it sound good. It's sickening. "Well, he remembers being possessed, you fucking him, that's going to be new." She's literally in hell. She's screwed up so many times, but this might be her biggest regret. She openly sobs, tossing her head to the side and letting out pathetic cries mixed with little whimpers of building pleasure. The pressure below is getting stronger and stronger. She wishes this would end.

  
  
"Aww, there, there, child, I'm sure he won't hate you that much." They mock in a sweet whisper. Jonas should hate her, if anything it'll make her feel better about this. She deserves to be hated. She wants Jonas to never speak to her again. But she doesn't want that. Her heart feels like it's breaking in two. The thought of Jonas never looking at her with those warm eyes of his makes her want to give up on everything. "Well, I think it's time we finished this."

  
  
With that, their thrusts became harsh, overbearing, the thumb on her clit alternating between fast rubbing, and rough pushes, the pressure overwhelming. She cries out, her voice finally finding itself again. All she can do is plea, plea for release. Release from this feeling, release from this situation, release this pent up feeling inside her that makes her feel like everything's on fire and spinning.

  
  
"Alex, I love you, so, so, much."

 

Even though it's not him, even though this is wrong, hearing them say that, in his voice, it brings her over the edge. Her vision blanks, and she seizes up, her body wracking with pleasure as she releases around him, squeezing him tight.

  
  
"Oh, fuck," they hiss, "that's it," they continue their thrusting, the tight vice Alex has around Jonas's cock ends up pushing them over the edge, and they cum. Filling her up. They ride it out, long after she's stopped moving, stopped making any noises except barely audible whimpers. When they finally stop, they look into her eyes, as they pull out. She looks completely broken. "Good girl."

  
  
They separate from her immediately, helping her stand up so they can reach Jonas's clothes, and begin to dress themselves. "Alright, that's enough deviation for one round." Alex is just standing there, like she's in a completely different time and place, thoroughly wrecked, cum leaking down her thighs. "You really should get dressed, dear, we still have this loop to finish."

  
  
Her movements are slow, and out of it. She doesn't want to do it. She doesn't want to fix the tear, she doesn't want to talk to Nona and try to comfort her, she doesn't have it in her. She doesn't want to see Jonas. Doesn't want to find out if he actually knows or not. But she moves anyway. They've already redressed Jonas perfectly, like nothing happened.

  
  
By the time she finishes dresses, they're already at the door. "I hope we have as much fun next time, child." and with that, they glitch out of the tear.

  
  
Alex continues to stand in silence. She redressed herself poorly, clothes askew, sloppy, like she just fell down a cliff. Her body aches, and everything feels empty.

  
  
She moves forward anyway.

  
  
When the tear's fixed, Jonas comes back. Alex feels like she's about to cry again, but manages to keep a vacant expression.

  
  
"The station's up at the top of the--Ugh. _God_ , that was.." He holds his head like he's trying to gather what just happened. Alex is frozen stiff. Waiting for him to finish the sentence. Just finish the line, please, please, say you don't remember.

  
  
He notices Alex's mussed up clothes. The way she's avoiding eye contact with him. He can't remember everything. He remembers being possessed, **he thinks** , he remembers, he remembers a little, but everything's like static on a dead channel. Little glimpses. Alex backed up, his hand grabbing her, static, disorienting static, Alex holding him while shaking, Alex on the floor, beneath him. He covers his mouth, vision going shaky as he stares at her. "Did- Alex, Oh my god, Did we-,"

  
  
"Don't." Her voice is eerily steady, and she finally meets his gaze. Her eyes look empty. "Let's just get to the station."

  
  
His mouth gapes open like a fish, he doesn't know what to say, what to do, she doesn't wait for a response, she just turns on her heel, and starts making her way up the trail. Ren and Nona's voices can be heard, coming from the speakers on the station.

  
  
He clenches his fists.


	2. reconcile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> surprise bitch, thought youd seen the last of me?

He's been following her up towards the communication tower for what seems like ages. She's slow, one foot at a time, frequently stumbling. No words have left her mouth. Every time he tries to walk closer, walk side by side, she nearly jumps out of her skin. The waterfall and eerie back noise of time falling apart the only solace he's had.

 

He stops finally, on the bridge, staring at the back of her messed up pony tail. "Alex." She doesn't respond, just stops moving. "Alex, please we have to talk about this".

 

"Talk about what?" Her tone is so deadpan and void of any feelings it scares him.

 

"We—We right, what did I do? **What did I do to you**?" He stops himself from walking forward, not wanting her to run away again.

 

He can't see her face, can't tell what she's thinking. "You didn't do anything." Again, no emotions.

 

"Alex, that's bullshit!" He didn't mean for his voice to come out like that. So aggressive, and malicious. He feels so confused, his entire brain feeling like its about to explode any minute. The images keep racing through his eyes, _Alex pinned beneath him, Alex crying, Alex. Alex. Alex,_

 

"Please, Alex, what happened? I'm not mad. Please tell me what I did, I gotta— I have to make things right." He stops himself from sounding choked up, but in reality he feels like crying. The thought of hurting the one person who's been with him this entire night, helping keep the other sane. It makes him feel like a failure.

 

The slightest shudder runs through her, hes acutely aware of every move she makes. "Alex," his voice is wavering, failing at holding his emotions back. "Alex, please talk to me, I need you, **I can't go through this without you**."

 

Her hands clamped over her face as her whole body shook with sobs, he was dumbfounded by her reaction, not sure how to act, so he waited. and waited, everything went quiet, like how it goes before he loses time and wakes up somewhere else.

 

"You didn't do it, it was me."

 

He furrowed his brows, forgetting himself for a moment he stepped forward, causing her to whip around and finally reveal her face. She was covered in sweat, her eyes puffy and irritated. "It was me! The ghosts— no, the stupid sunken, they let me...." Her voice cracking, her hands balled into fists, yanking her hair. "They've been watching me every time, every time we make it out, and they just—they just fucking rip it away from me!" Her voice was hoarse, you could hear the frustration bubble up inside her, spilling out. "And it's always me!! I'm the only one who remembers, do you know how many times i've had to see them use all our bodies... just for fun?"

 

Jonas didn't say anything, he stared straight into her eyes, trying to wrap his head around everything pouring out of her mouth.

 

"And now,  
now _I'm just as bad as them. They let me_.." Her eyes clenched shut as she let out a yell of frustration.

 

It was silent for a moment, and she finally met his eyes head on. "They let me touch you. I've always wanted to. Every time we get out of here, and I get so close to you, it's all gone. Were back on that boat again, and no one remembers."

 

"Touch me?" He looks mortified for a second, but in all the static in his brain, he, no, no the ones controlling him pushed her into it. He remembers that much, him—the sunken still pushing against Alex as she plead no

 

Jonas doesn't move, doesn't think. Why can't he remember any of those moments. He remembers tonight. How she immediately waited for him when they got off the boat, as soon as Jonas began crawling into the cave Alex was right there behind him. How she seemed to know all of the quizzes given by the entity tormenting them. How she constantly defended him against all her friends. How she held his hand, saying she was scared, when in reality she was the most brave out of the group. When they talked about Michael, she'd whisper:

 

  
_I'm glad I have you though_.

 

"I don't get it, you like me? We're siblings thou—"

 

"I know that! You were the one who made the first move!" His eyes widen. She's using her hoodie to cover up her face, the shame was killing her. "You were smoking out on the porch, I was worried so I went to check on you, and you, we talked, you kissed me—"

 

She continued, voice uneven and cracking at every word. "We were just talking about everything we've been through and—and, I was so embarrassed, I didn't know what to do, I wanted to hug you but—"

 

"Back on the boat, right?" He finished for her, and she nodded.

 

She keeps wiping at her eyes with her sleeves, trying to stop the tears. "Listen, you can hate me, it's okay. I, I messed up big time, and to make it worse they just... they tricked...." Her voice trails off.

 

And suddenly she feels warmth surround her. That overwhelming smell of tobacco, that scratchy jacket, and his large hands cupping the back of her head. He leans his head down on her shoulder and lets out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god, I, I seriously thought that was me. I thought I hurt you."

 

She stands as stiff as a board, afraid if she moves everything will reset. "Listen, I don't know if what you're saying is the truth or not, but don't think I haven't noticed how— how smart you are about everything those creeps try. It was scary, I thought you were a mind reader." He lets out a laugh, and it tickles her skin.

 

"They used me to hurt you?" She nods.

 

"You realize it isn't your fault right? I don't... I'm pretty sure they weren't taking no for an answer, am I right?" Another nod is his only reply.

 

"Alex I could never hate you, I don't blame you, I mean yeah I think it's kinda weird you wanna bone your stepbrother but, uh, according to you I felt the same" This time she couldn't help but let out a snort, and she wraps her arms around his waist.

 

"You definitely did, perv."

 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, holding each other. Nothing else existed but them, they both felt at peace.

 

"So uh, we are cool right?"

 

"Jonas don't ruin the moment."

 

* * *

They're in the safety bunker, right before that haunting motherly tune starts playing. Alex always lets him go here, she thinks its the right thing to do. They've held hands the entire way through since the experience, scared if they let go the other will disappear. They haven't made any romantic gestures, just taking care of eachother like family should do.

 

The song starts, and Alex pulls out her radio before Jonas even speaks.

 

He stares at her, its familial love. "Alex, I'll do everything I can to remember this"

 

She smiles, as he phases out of the zone. She already accepts that he wont.

 

* * *

 

She's back on the boat, zoning in and out of the conversations Ren and Jonas are partaking in. She mimics the informational station that plays, which gets a kick out of Ren. They parrot it back and forth to eachother. Jonas watches in amusement, but there's something else, his appearance seemingly on edge. Alex ignores it for now, it's probably nothing.

 

Alex is acting excited, how she normally would be in this situation. Her very first time through, this is the only part of the trip where she feels safe, it's the same conversations over and over, Ren's goofy: but lovable attitude is super infectious. She tries to act casual around Jonas, keeping distance between them most the time, afraid she'll do something stupid again. When Ren asks her to take her radio out, she once again, is the only one that notices that it's her coming through the receiver. She doesn't say anything, but her vision clouds over for a few moments.

 

Ren of course, having to take a picture with his best friend and her new brother, ushers them both in close. For once she's glad Ren is like a clingy younger brother, as he firmly plants himself in between the two of them. She ruffles his hair and coos 'good dog' at him, and he playfully shoves her arm, saying "Don't give Jonas the wrong idea, man! I mean, I am cute and everyone loves me, like a dog but—" His rambles continue for the rest of the ride, and Alex is grateful for that.

 

As usual when they land, Ren rushes ahead, gushing about the island history while her and Jonas slowly follow along. Jonas pulls out his cigarettes, lighting one for himself, he takes a drag, and shoves the pack back into his jacket. Alex looks at him quizzically. "You're not even gonna ask if I want one? _Rude_."

 

Jonas smirks, staring at Alex the whole time, "Nah, something tells me you aren't a smoker, you'd probably choke on it"

 

And her heart skips a beat.

**Author's Note:**

> at least i have you
> 
> at least i had you


End file.
